| Will The Real Mr. Change-A-Lot Please Stand Up
I always considered myself CHANGE's number one detractor. I've never been a really big fan of it, and how often things have to change. Then lately I've noticed that I've been changing the layouts of my online journals too often, so I decided it was about time for me to finally write about "change."
My life is a never-ending thread of changes. Some of my close friends probably think that I should be accustomed to it by now because I've had to go through them almost my whole life. A few months after I turned a year old, I had to move to another country. A few months after that, I had to move to yet another country. At age 7, I returned to the Philippines to start first grade. And after two years in that school, I had to change schools. Everything was going well for me, then after my Freshman year in high school, I welcomed change once more. My family had decided to move. There I found myself in a new city, studying in a new school, meeting new friends, wearing new school uniform, learning a new dialect, and adjusting to a new life. Two years later, we moved to a new house. After another two years, change wanted me to move to another country. And ever since I arrived in the United States, Change has never ceased to give me another dose of "changing time," for I am constantly on the move.
Moving is the worst thing about my life. It seems like it's written in the stars, on the palm of my hands, like it's my destiny. I've always wondered what my life would be like had my family stayed put, and I wonder when this constant "on-the-go" will ever end. The good thing about all of this, though, is that I've met a ton of nice people, I met my boyfriend, and I've proven who my true friends are because they have stayed in touch.
And last night as NBC's Must-See-TV-Thursdays line-up premiered its new seasons, I noticed changes as well. Joey Tribianni left his Friends in New York to start his new life in Los Angeles. His sister Gina refused to let her 20-year old son move out of her house because she didn't want things to change, so we find Joey telling his sister thatchange is hard to accept, but there's nothing else we can do about it. He's right! All we can do is roll with it. If it gets unbearable, we just have to suck it all in. We have to find a way to make it a pleasing experience. Donald Trump's The Apprentice also made changes. Instead of just 16 hopefuls, there are now 18. The camera angles are different, there are new challenges, and the suite the applicants is different. There is a saying: "the more things change, the more thay stay the same." Not quite true. For me, the more things change, the more things change. The scary part is that change is permanent, it is forever. It is impossible to make things (or people) go back to the way they once were. When they get somewhere new, it's hard to turn things around. I've lost some friends because they've changed. They started hanging out with a different crowd. Time is a big factor in change. It changes all of us, for we all get older, we mature, we learn new things, and accept new ideas. The Backstreet Boys croon "change can be so good." A few lines later, they belt out, "time goes on and on everyday. time is what it is, come what may."
Through the years, I've struggled to be the same person. I guess in a way I've been successful because my friends who've known me since I was thirteen still run to me when they need someone to listen to their problem, and give them advice. They know that I am still the one who is frank enough to tell them what the reality is and the practical thing to do. I still listen to the same kind of music - the streamline pop and contemporary music. I still have the same celebrity crushes. Man, I've been crushing on Prince William for 11 years now! I have never grown tired of loving my boyfriend of six years. I've held on to my stuff dolls and letters from friends and relatives. I still dress the same way I dressed in the Philippines almost 3 years ago. My favorite color is still the one I loved in the 5th grade. I still like to wear my hair long. And I still drive people crazy when I decide to let my fingernails grow long once in a while.
Basically, I'm still very much me. I still speak my mind without thinking sometimes. I still give sensible advice. I still sleep with a stuff animals. I still don't wear make-up except when I REALLY have to. And I am still a little kid at heart.
My surroundings seem to have changed without me. I'm not bothered by it, mind you. I certainly hope that it just goes on minding its own business as I would like to live my life as I please. If change is forever, then forever should make me happy. But change doesn't always make me happy. For the most part, I've been in tears whenever Change poked its ugly head at me. Smiles haven't been accompanying Change for quite a while. I wonder if that will happen anytime soon. I'll let ya know. For the meantime, I'll enjoy changing my layouts as much as I wish... |
